Martha Stewart Will Definitely Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
I have always been a big fan of Martha Stewart. I know, sometimes she does stuff like gluing moss on lampshades which causes you to wonder if she ever uses that lamp and why it doesn’t catch fire, and rolling grapes in goose liver pate sounds like it won’t be on my bucket list, but let’s put those things aside for a moment and talk about how Martha is better prepared than just about anyone to survive the Zombie Apocalypse. And it’s not just because she’s rich.
Please note that, as always, I use the Zombie Apocalypse as a metaphor for any type of civil unrest, long-term disaster in which the unprepared are going to want what you’ve carefully stored, and events during which people eagerly await the government’s handouts to rescue them from their Darwinian fates.
But, let’s talk about Martha. I’ve always seen her as a mentor, even though I’ve never had the privilege of meeting her.
She understands the value of a home-cooked meal with every detail from scratch. She grows her own veggies and herbs, maintains orchards, and raises chickens. She can sew, bake, garden, and run a multi-billion dollar business. She’s survived some things that would have driven a lesser woman to her knees. Remember how a few weeks back when I talked about prepper friends, I said that some of them weren’t exactly preppers but would be fantastic neighbors and allies? One word for you: MARTHA.
Here are just a few of the reasons why I’m quite certain that Martha Stewart will survive anything the Zombie Apocalypse could throw at her.
She can cook anything, anywhere.
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