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Here’s How ‘Everything Bubbles’ Pop

Here’s How ‘Everything Bubbles’ Pop

But weirdly, and irrationally, bubbles pop anyway.

At long last, the moment you’ve been hoping for has arrived: you’re pitching your screenplay to a producer. Your agent is cautious but you’re confident nobody else has concocted a story as outlandish as yours. Your agent gives you the nod and you’re off and running:

Writer: Two guys start a cryptocurrency as a joke to parody the crypto craze, and they name it KittyCoin. It goes nowhere but then the greatest speculative bubble of all time takes off, it’s the dot-com and housing bubble times 100 but in everything, and within a couple months the entire economy is dependent on this bubble, and the bubble is dependent on KittyCoin, which has shot up 15,000 percent in a few weeks. A celebrity CEO who’s been promoting KittyCoin is invited to host a failing TV variety show, and now the whole economy depends on KittyCoin soaring even higher.

Producer: So it’s ‘The Big Short’ plus ‘Network’.

Writer: Something like that, only zanier.

Producer: I get the zaniness but it’s so implausible — it’s preposterous.

Writer: It’s an absurdist comedy.

Producer: But it ends with everyone being wiped out.

Writer: OK, a tragi-comedy.

And here we are, in the Greatest Bubble of All Time (GBOAT) hanging on the thin thread of speculators rotating out of one bubble into another even more improbable bubble. If there is no heir-apparent for the rotation, then players rotate back into an asset that already reached bubblicious heights and is awaiting the next booster.

The Everything Bubble is one for the ages, but alas, even the most glorious global Tulip Bulb manias crash back to Earth. So how do Everything Bubbles end? Like every other bubble ends:

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